Don't Cap Your Own Capacity

“Well I’m and artist in ministry. I’ll always be scraping by financially. That’s okay. I just have to get used to living with three people in a tiny apartment. I just have to be ok with timing my creativity around their schedules so it’s not interrupted. I can survive hitching rides and borrowing computers. It’s all in the name of art and justice so I can suck it up and scrape by!” This was a normal thought process for me. That was until I picked up the book Smart Talk by Lou Tice. In this book my martyr-minded thoughts were placed on the chopping block and hacked to pieces. This wasn’t about the “prosperity gospel” it was about claiming the lifestyle and tools I needed to serve and bless other people at the capacity I was meant to!

As I read my mind began to take on a new form. Suddenly I began to see things from a different perspective. Instead of thinking, “Oh well I don’t need that, I can scrape by just fine,” I started thinking “No I need that because I could reach so many more people with that space, that tool, that vehicle!” What if I had a room to myself? How much more writing or art or ideas could I create than I could tripping over other peoples stuff, having polite conversations with the constant stream of people coming in and out of our apartment, and piling my artwork in one corner of the apartment that I pray no one touches. How many more people could I bless if I could easily get to service projects, give people rides, get to important meetings in my own car instead of bumming rides and spending twice as much time waiting for a bus? How many more designs, blogs, newsletters and scripts could I come up with if I had a nice laptop instead of borrowed computers that cut off the internet every 10min or freeze up when 2 browser windows are open?

I don’t want to upgrade and expand my lifestyle to be selfish and to gain status and fame, I want to upgrade so that I can do more for people. This was just the beginning of my journey into the Smart Talk world and already my blood was running a little faster; doing laps around my imagination. I began to envision the simple uncluttered and efficient lifestyle that I could have- that I would have- so I could better fight injustice and rescue those gripped by cruel fists. What about you? Are there limitations you’ve been putting on yourself because you feel like it’d be selfish to want more? If you are motivated by love, don't cap your own capacity.

-Jewel Hargrove

CDM Teammate

Cultivating Passion

Deliver those who are being taken away to death!
And those who are staggering to slaughter! Oh hold them back!!! | Proverbs 24:11

“Wrecked again.” This could have come after a trip to Bulgaria, or a conference, or sitting across the table from someone who has experienced the horrors of trafficking first hand. It’s like someone dissected our heart, found the deepest corner that cries for the blood & tears of our brothers & sisters, & marked it with caution tape so we’d remember it’s location. But somehow the to-do list beckons us away from that crime scene. Stresses & worries that have to do with our lives & our priorities take us on a long leisurely walk away. Far away from the outlines drawn around the bodies & real human bloodstains in that taped-off corner. Thinking more about ourselves & our lives doesn’t make their pain cease to exist any more than pulling covers over our heads makes the darkness disappear. We’ve all experienced this slow drain of passion. How do we cultivate a consistent, daily desire for justice & rescue? A passion that isn’t numbed by comfort or muted by daily tasks?

Hunt down the truth. Human trafficking, orphans, widows, shrapnel-hit-hearts are all around us. In other countries & in our own city. We must take a crash course on what exactly is going on, where it is happening, & who we can join that is already fighting. Books, internet, documentaries, events. What makes you take the time to gather knowledge? A coffee meeting with someone who knows, or time penciled on your calendar to read a book? Whatever it is, do it!

Choose your battleground. I am one. I can’t rescue the sex slaves and the child soldiers and the labor victims. As much as I’d like to think my limpid eyes can span the globe breaking chains with their dazzling light, I’m not a super hero. I had to decide which group of precious people had my heart. Sex trafficking makes me want to rend my own flesh more than anything. Done. Where? 80% of Europe’s sex trade victims come from Bulgaria. That is unacceptable. There must be real wreckage in the mindsets, economy & beating-flesh-hearts of that country. This is where I will fight. What territory has God marked for your heart?

Wreck your world. God wants us to live an abundant life, & that includes enjoying blessings He douses our lives. Blessings like relishing moments we can lie in the grass & breathe in beauty as sunlight particles dissolve into our skin. But those moments are gifts along the way, not things we should be spending most of our time & effort to acquire. He will see that we have rest & refreshment because He’s crazy about us. But our purpose is not to hunt for those moments, rather, to fight for those who don’t even know what those moments look like. Those who have never felt a flower stem between their fingertips or laid in the shade while someone reads them poetry, because all they’ve ever known is four dull grey walls and the string of men that flow endlessly in & out of their room & their body. Our lifestyle must become the glorious wreckage of what it once was. We’ve run aground on reality & we can’t take all those pointless extras with us. The blueprints God has given us don’t include schematics for the “American Dream.”

Hone our gifts. Who are you? An actor? A businessman? A speaker? An artist? An author? A counselor? You didn’t create those gifts & passions, God did. But He’s asked us to focus our gifts & passions on two things, & two things only: Love God. Love people. Anything in our lives that doesn’t fall into those categories will only dilute our dedication to them.

Most of all, above all, hunt His heart & grab a hold until your heartbeat can’t help but drum out it’s rhythm. Believe me, when you experience the vivid sunset-pulse of His love tailored to your heart, nothing will stifle the desire to connect others with that same, extravagant, life-surging love & freedom. Fighting for them may simply begin by taking steps to cultivate the passion in your own heart.

Incessant Trust

The book of Ruth is truly inspiring. I love this part in the story that occurs right after Boaz has agreed to go ask the "closer relative" if he will relinquish his marrying rights. Everything is up in the air right now. He needs permission from this other man or no marriage between him and Ruth will take place.

Ruth 3:18 Then she (Naomi, Ruth's mother in law) said, “Wait, my daughter, until you know how the matter turns out; for the man will not rest until he has settled it today.”

The Hebrew word for WAIT is yashab: to dwell, remain, sit, abide.

The commentary goes on to say: this is often the most difficult part of faith- when no more action can be taken and nothing remains but to wait patiently for God to work out His will. It is at this moment that doubts arise and anxiety creeps in.

Will you allow God to work this lesson in your life? He is asking you, "Will You trust Me and just abide with Me when there is nothing else you can do in the situation? Will You let go and just be with Me? Will you belive that I have good things in store for you My beloved?"

What an incredible quality to posses: a incessant trust. Every moment a moment of restfully being with Him because…well…He loves me.

The Ultimate Prayer Partner

I've been focusing in on Romans 8. This chapter has so much wealth in it that I could spend a week on each verse if I wanted to. Powerful phrases that we hear all the time as Christians show up in this chapter.

"All things work together for good to those who love God."

"If God is for us, who is against us?"

"Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ."

So much brilliant love and promise pouring out of every corner of it! Then I ran across some verses that I knew had more than what I was seeing.

Romans 8:26 - 27

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings toodeep for words;

and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

As I thought about this I felt the discouragement of my prayer life rush over me. I feel a desperate need to pray more for other people, but so often I feel I just don't have enough information. I get cut short because I only know bits and pieces of their situation and my own guesses at what the root issues may be. I don't know how to pray as I should.

Then it hit me. That's what the Holy Spirit does! He fills in the blanks! He meets me on my knees where I pray for people and situations and whatever I don't know to pray for- He does! I don't have to be afraid that my friend will only get the meager portion I prayed over them just because I didn't know everything. I can pray confidently knowing that the Father hears my prayers as well as the prayers of the the Holy Spirit who does know my friends heart and the real issues going on!

So what was the point of verse 27? It seemed obvious that the Spirit would pray according to the will of God. I mean, He is God. I must be missing something. There was magic here and I just couldn't see it. As I was walking that day I asked God to show me something new in this verse that I had never seen before.

And He did. He put that in there to be an example for us! He's stating the obvious so that we will follow along. Pray according to the will of God! Pray what you see in the Word and pray it in faith! An excitement grew inside me and my pace quickened. I began to pray, right there in some little neighborhood and out loud for any person or squirrel to hear.

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Lisa has an abundant full life in You!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Cynthia is healed of all of her pain by Your stripes and suffering on the cross!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Stephen finds the freedom and salvation that you freely offer him!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that there is a future for me and my hope will not be cut off!

God I thank you that YOUR WILL is that Jennifer's situation will work together for her good and You will bring about the great purposes for her life!

I don't know how many blocks passed by as I went on like this. But it was exhilarating.

Wreckage to Wonder

What would happen if we allowed our lives to be wrecked for God? That word- wreck- may disturb you. It may even strike fear into your heart. If it does it is only because you don’t fully understand what it means to be wrecked by God. Our basic understanding of wreckage on this earth is pure destruction. Something was whole. Something is ruined; rendered broken and useless. The end. That is what we know of earthly wreckage. That is what we understand from what we’ve seen of broken relationships, natural disasters and car accidents. Wreckage is bad and should be avoided. I would like to suggest that the opposite is true with God’s wreckage.

Look at the Bible. Look at the lives. God told Abraham to leave his home, his land, his friends: to ruin everything in his life and start over somewhere else. Joseph had plans of rising up in his father’s household and taking over the family lands. His brother’s sold him as a slave. His life was wrecked. Paul was held in the highest esteem among his peers. No one could outwit him or prove more knowledgeable when it came to the law of God. He encountered Jesus on the road one day and the encounter wrecked all the years of knowledge and experience he had built up for his own purposes. His skill was now useless for his plans.

These lives were undeniably wrecked. But it didn’t end there. There is another factor in God-wreckage that we may refuse to acknowledge because of our own fears. We see our worlds falling apart around us and look into the future imagining the worst. What we see- we think- is what we get. Ruin. The end. But what if while the pieces of our world were falling down around us like debris and ash, we looked into the future and saw the end that God-Wreckage brings: Wonder. Human wreckage and sin-destruction ends at the point of the breaking and ruin, but God turns wreckage to wonder. Abraham walked with God. Joseph ruled a nation. Paul wrote life-fueling words that would span through generations. Through the ash, through the tears, through the impossible thing that God has told you to fearlessly take ahold of, look ahead and believe for the wonder. It is there, waiting for you.

Deliverance from Mental and Physical Slavery

Deliverance from mental and physical slavery is a desperate need in our world today. The enemy of our life and our love would like nothing better than to enslave us. History is full of people who needed deliverance from mental and physical slavery, and the world today continues in that pattern. Slavery takes many different forms. For people who have experienced the bondage of worldviews like Communism in their country the slavery begins in their minds, causing them to make choices that may enslave others or continue to enslave themselves.

God created us to be cherished, valued and loved. But if we don’t see ourselves as having any value, that will lead us to make decisions that can lead us to further emotional slavery, as well as physical slavery. In countries all over the world mindsets like this lead to circumstances where men and women will make rash decisions in an effort to feel value, or take advantage of someone that they see no value in. This mental enslavement leads people to make decisions based on very little thought or information, or to use people like items to use and sell.

A young girl with this mindset will quickly trust a stranger promising a great job in another country, and only later discover she has really been enslaved. The rest of her life will be spent working endlessly for little or no pay, or being forced to deliver her precious body to a daily string of men. It can all start with that despair and slavery of her mind. She feels she has no value and the first chance she sees she grasps at. But a woman who knows that she is cherished and adored by her Heavenly father will offer Him her trust and know that He will take care of her. She doesn’t need to act rashly in desperation.

Pray for deliverance from mental and physical slavery for Bulgaria and the world. Pray that these strongholds and damaging mindsets will be broken through the brilliant power of Christ. Pray that He will refresh them with the knowledge and understanding of true value and purpose a plan He has just for them!

Human Trafficking, Sex Slavery, and Poverty

Human Trafficking, Sex Slavery and Poverty can be overwhelming and excruciating topics. Just bringing up the epidemic of human trafficking or sex slavery tempts us to feel despair and hopelessness. When we hear a statistic such as 27 million people are in slavery around the world today we want to throw up our hands and breathe sadly, “Well, what could I ever do to change that?” But what are we looking at? The number of people in poverty or human trafficking around the world? Something like sex slavery that seems “bigger” than we could ever comprehend much less attempt to tackle? So our focus is on something big. This brings us to a simple shift in focus to something even bigger: God. Yes human trafficking, sex slavery and poverty are tragic, massive, and mind-blowing. But the God we serve has a history of taking “big” things and dwarfing them with His love and greatness.

What it requires from us is faith. Faith welded to action. We are not called to be God and make the change. We are called to obey in what He has put before us and watch Him take our faith & action against slavery and poverty to make a miracle. I believe that Bulgaria is the next launching pad for a great miracle from God. Compared to many countries in the world, Bulgaria is not very large. But the darkness and strongholds it faces are looming over it’s future with ravenous intensity. Human trafficking. Despair. Poverty. Lies about self worth. Sex slavery. Worldviews that inflict hopelessness and bondage on the lives that it preys upon. These may all seem like giants. Especially to those who have lived in countries that enjoy wealth and freedom. But these giants are particles to God. And what would seem to take ages to change or improve can transform with one breath from God, or one person sent in His name.

Don’t let facts or circumstances grow to be larger than God in your own mind, whether they are the heart-breaking issues in your own life or gruesome injustices like sex slavery in the world. Remember that He is bigger, and then take a step to activate your faith with action. It could mean changing the course of your career and joining yourself to a Kingdom pursuit. It could mean surrendering the money God has blessed you with (from the job HE has blessed you with) to feed and clothe those in rags of poverty and despair. It could mean sacrificing time to pray and rally behind someone who is fighting for the orphans, widows and slaves. Decide to take action today, in whatever way God is calling you, to be a part of the big miracle He has brewing. I dare you to let God transform you through your obedience to help transform the lives of others.