Day of The Double-Take

Day of The Double-Take
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

What if, in the middle of your daily rush to get everything done, someone suddenly stepped into your path begging for help? What if they looked you right in the eye and said,
“I’m Desperate.”
“Anything will help right now.”
“I need food. I’m disabled – can’t work – and I’m caring for my grandkids.”
What if this happened? What would you do?
It happens to me on a weekly basis.
When I’m carrying out my daily life, someone suddenly steps before me desperate, begging, in need. What do I do? Sick as it seems, my instant response is to look away. I justify it, They brought this upon themselves. They probably just don’t want to work. I don’t have time…

Is the scenario beginning to sound familiar yet? We’ve all encountered someone in need and looked away. Usually, we turn our eyes from the man on the street holding up the “Desperate” sign, or the woman with “Anything Helps” scratched on a piece of cardboard. Instinctively, we know that if we look twice, really consider the need, we won’t be able to ignore it because the heart of Jesus inside of us begins to pound. The day I looked twice, it was all over…

I was driving along a busy street heading for the freeway on-ramp. It was a sunny day after church and I was singing away to blasting worship when I looked over at the sidewalk, and there she was. She was thin, with grey coarse hair and had a sign that read, “Need food. Disabled, can’t work, caring for grandkids.” I looked away. Here I was, just coming from church and listening to worship, and I looked away. But, the thought of my own grandma having to take on responsibility for some of my younger cousins caused me to look a second time. The sight of those wrinkled hands holding the plea out to me and her hunched-back, no longer able to straighten against the lifetimes of burdens she’d endured, switch something inside of me. I recklessly swung my wheel and screeched into a nearby parking lot. That second look combated the thought that said, She’s probably lying, and replaced it with, So what if she IS lying! What if she’s not?! It can’t hurt to give food! Turns out, I had a box of nutrition bars in my trunk, so I pulled them out and rushed to her as fast as my heels would let me to give the offering. She was so thankful, gushing, “Oh thank you! Those will help so much. My grandchildren will love them – something healthy too!” I left with a feeling of euphoria, which carried all the way into the next day.

Since this initial day of doing a double-take, looking away has become harder and harder. I wrote about looking, really looking, into the faces of our children in my last blog because when you gaze into the eyes of those in need, you cannot look away and ignore the urge to act. The Bible says the eyes are the window of the soul, and so when we look into the eyes of another we get a glimpse into their soul. It’s as if the cry from inside them climbs from their soul-window, crawls the distance between you both, and enters you through your own soul-window. And when it truly gets inside of you, the cry, or need, sits there in the little room of your heart, asking that you DO something – and doesn’t leave until you do. The beauty of this type of soul exchange is that when we meet that need, we get to experience the same joy the receiver feels. For, not only do we answer the other’s cry, but we’re answering the cry our own heart begins to scream – the cry of Jesus inside of us that asks, “If anyone…sees [another] in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? (1 John 3:17).”

You see, the love of God inside of us longs to minister and meet the needs of others. Opportunities are all around us, not just in the form of the homeless or orphans. Each of our souls clutches a sign voicing a specific need. There are people you encounter in line at the grocery store, at your workplace, or friends you hang out with that are holding signs pleading, “Confused and lost, help me find my way,” or “Starved! Hungry for love – never satisfied.” Today, don’t glance away any longer from the souls crying out all around you! Look twice; let their needs get inside of you; and release the love of God, materially and spiritually, to the hurting, hungry, lost souls.
Then, experience the euphoria of being the heart, hands, and feet of Jesus!

Look In...The Faces of Our Children

LOOK IN….
By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern, Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

Almost a year ago, while working as a camp councilor for my church youth group, I was struck by the horrifying reality of a pandemic striking our children. It was onset by a picture that was shown during an evening sermon of a little child of Africa, huddled on the ground, his skeletal frame protruding from leathery skin. The most haunting image from this picture was the vulture hovering in the background, just waiting for the babe to die. I think most of us have viewed images like this of children in third world countries, and they’ve pierced our hearts to the core. However, something different occurred inside of me when I saw this particular picture – for it birthed a further revelation. As the speaker was talking, I was looking around at the energetic and “healthy” youth surrounding me and thinking, God, how come you’ve called me here? Should I be overseas where the need is great and kids are dying right now, even as we worship? Suddenly, in my mind hovered a group of American youth, but I was seeing past the exterior and straight inside – and what I saw within them changed my life. Inside of every seemingly healthy young person was that dying little African child, right where their heart should have been. The vulture was there too. It was the devil. Waiting to devour the children spiritually. God whispered to me, “Krinda, this is why! The hearts and souls of America’s youth are shriveling and malnourished. Spiritually, they are like the children of a third world country and I need missionaries to rescue them as well.” I know for myself, I am called to be a missionary to the children right in my backyard, who are dying figuratively every day. I’m called to help keep the murderous devil from swooping down for the kill. Also, I must do what I can for those who literally are dying overseas. What about you? Will you look – really look – into the faces of our children across the world and in America – will you allow yourself to answer to the pain written there? Jesus loved and reached out to touch the needs of the little children. What about you?
"Let the little children come to me… And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.” Mark 10:14,16

…The Faces of Our Children
Poem By: Krinda Joy Carlson

Starved and thirsty with an empty cup.
Sick and throwing up.
A disease from the water,
or daily dying is someone’s daughter.
Mal-nourished and wasting …gone.
Third-word child and American girl sing the same song.

Exploit of the sex-trade.
Trapped in the moral degrade.
Just surviving from trick to trick,
or striving to satisfy from click to click.
Slavery – cost of porn.
From captured trafficked to captive viewer the industry born.

Alone with no home.
“Lonely. Empty.” is the groan.
Family gone from disease at the age of six,
or neglected boy lost in the mix.
Estranged and losing hope fast.
Child of Africa and son of a parental split seek to belong at long-last.

Children are starving, hurting, broken,
trapped in the system they live or in lies spoken.
The malnourished baby.
The anorexic teen.
The prostituted girl.
The sex-craved slave.
The orphaned boy.
The divorce-afflicted child.
This generation, whether literal or figurative, is dying –
eyes of the casualties pleading out, crying.

Look! Don’t ignore the faces of our children
or allow numbing from the painful truth.
Across the continent to right in America here,
the youth’s stare speaks stark and clear.
They need a rescuer to reach out a hand,
someone that cares and loves enough to stand
in the gap between life and death,
to be the bridge to Jesus – the Hope, the Healer… the very source of Breath.

The Power of One

By: Krinda Joy Carlson
Intern with Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

There’s a method to my madness for writing my first blog about escaping life on the deserted island of isolation. I hope it at least sparked thoughts upon what we do with our hearts. For, though God instructs us to “guard” our hearts, He never told us to keep it from fulfilling its purpose – which is to love. If we are so drown in our own emotions, our own fears, and our own self doubt, how will we ever be able to see the needs of others and reach the nations for Christ – much less one person? And it all begins with one…

My dad is one of those “ones” who then sprouted to reach multiple other “ones,” and those multiples in turn are going after their “one.” My dad didn’t grow up in a Christian home. His childhood is riddled with parental splits, witnessing alcohol abuse, and an intensive work schedule, all starting at a very young age. When he entered college, someone finally explained to him that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the reason for our existence. This person who ministered to my father saw the need, and wasn’t afraid to answer the questions my dad asked. Because of the open heart of this individual, my dad entered into an authentic relationship with Jesus. From then on, he’s been opening his heart to others – he and my mother raised me and my three siblings to really seek God, not just know about God. Over half of my dad’s extended family members are now Christians also, because of his heart to give and share God’s love. And, everyday, my dad speaks into the lives of the people who come into his work office; weekly, one by one, people who come across his path are leaving to start their own personal journey towards knowing God. If anyone had a reason to retreat into isolation and harden himself from the needs around him, it was my father. Yet, instead, he kept his heart unblocked from the Holy Spirit, who guides us to touch the hurts and needs of others.

My point is – when we open our hearts, the Holy Spirit opens our eyes! We no longer stay focused on our own selves, but we really see others; and, when we see others through God’s viewpoint we can’t help but reach out to them, one by one.


Because of one college student who stopped to make time in his busy schedule for my dad, who was desperate for the source of real love and contentment…

Because my dad was determined to give love and healing, and not the hurt and pain he experienced growing up, to every-one who entered his life…

Because I was one of the recipients of my father’s open and giving heart, I am writing this for any-one it may inspire to reach their own one.
After all, it all started with One: “for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son” (John 3:16). And the love of that One – Jesus Christ – is all we need to open our hearts and, in turn, open our eyes to reach the nations, one by one.

Dangers of a Deserted Island

By: Krinda Joy Carlson

Intern at Ceitci Demirkova Ministries

I dwelt on a deserted island for a whole year.

There, I ate the same non-substantial diet and endured the constant storms alone. I wasted away a little more each week and though I knew I was weakening, I still chose to live on the island.

I thought I was protecting myself.

You see, this deserted island wasn’t an actual location on the map, it was a spot I created inside where I kept my heart. Isolating my heart was my attempt to keep it safe from others; alone, I didn’t have to be hurt or angered on account people. At first it seemed bliss, but the danger began to show after a short month. My emotions rolled like the seas, and my marooned heart was taking a beating.

The storm was constant:

fears…

and worries…

eroding my island with no one to help me stand strong or escape. Also, as I said, I was wasting away, not only figuratively but literally. I lost my normal joy and hope; I dragged, barely able to get up; I even lost my appetite.

Still, I was determined to live on my little island and would not let the emotions, which threatened to drown me, flow out and dissipate. Nor was I willing to let someone get close enough to the island to rescue my heart. After all, people (more aptly put, the hurts people caused me) were what provoked me to hole up in the first place – no way I was letting them come destroy my “paradise.” I expressed my state of being that year in the following lines:

Surround by a crowd,

mixed and loud.

Yet, on an island alone,

the roar of ocean my groan.

If I was willing to listen to my own words at the time, I would have realized the island was actually the opposite of paradise.

Though I was well liked by this “crowd,” was athletic, a successful student, and had a good life generally, I pushed it all away for a life of loneliness and eventually developed numerous food intolerances, chronic fatigue, and fought despair. Despite extensive testing, doctors were not able to diagnose the cause of my poor health. They weren’t able to because the disease stemmed from my heart. The isolation created a scurvy-like condition both spiritually and physically.

Author Erwin McManus says, “For us to be healthy we must be a part of others.”

We were made to love others.

By me refusing to let my heart off the island to give love to others, I also was not allowing God to reach me across the sea of my raging emotions. The Bible instructs, “Let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves…knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” and “whoever does not love abides in death” (1 John 4:7, John 3:14, NIV).

Therein lay my problem – I abided in death for a year by living without loving as we are commanded to do, and thus cut my connection with God Himself, the very source of vitality and hope I so desperately needed. Therefore, the worse danger to our hearts is not the hurt and pain others inflict upon us, but what we choose to do to our own hearts.

Upon realizing my sickness oozed from the very core of my being, I had to make a choice: would I keep hiding away from society and the pain loving can cause, or would I allow God to rescue me from the deserted island and bring me back to the mainland of LIFE! I can write this today because I chose the latter, and slowly my body, mind, and spirit are all returning to health. By letting my heart open up and love others, and give, and serve, I have opened it up to being loved, being served, and being healed by Jesus. Now, I can testify that a life without giving of ourselves leaves us buried beneath the depths of our own loneliness and emotions.

Today, if you are living on your own deserted island, take a lesson from me and don’t stay an entire year, letting your heart die bit by bit. Choose to emerge from the isolation…choose this moment to love and be loved.